Friday, 2 September 2011
Hello blurry September
Can't believe it's September again, seriously? Summer is not over yet but the weather says otherwise and looking through my bedroom window I feel like a part of me just left. I keep thinking it's not fair that we mainly only have two good months of summer and then the rest is dark and blurry! I'm not excited at all for the upcoming season don't want to give up my summer shorts and of course summer friends.
Actually I think that the problem are all the good memories from this summer that are still so much in me it's kind of hard to let go. The same happen last year and I know it will get better sooner or later, but what's really bothering me is why do I have to go through all the same stuff again? the same feelings, the same pain?
Is there any way I can shut myself and keep on going without having this feelings all again?
I'm in that fase where I have to look for a job again! I was exactly at the same point last year: just finished having the greatest holidays with friends, recently arrived from England, thus missing everyone, and having to look for a job, oh and no boyfriend! I'm exactly at the same fase right now! Is this deja vu? 1 year and nothing changed?
Next week I'm gonna be away for a conference not actually to assist it but to take care of the kids while the parents assist it. There will be probably just a few kids 5 or 6 tops. I am not very excited about it. Firstly I feel like I'm delaying life when I could be looking for work. Secondly I have some little job to do for a friend of mine and this means delaying it. Plus none of my friends are actually going or people from my age. Yes I know, look at the bright side. The place is actually nice and doing that instead of being at home despairing looks way better. Well I hope so! I do love kids and don't mind helping at all but once again I did the exact same thing last year!
Other part of me is also sad because well there's this boy... and I couldn't tell him how I felt and I don't know how he feels about me, us... (I feel ridiculous even writing about it) I'm regretting not being more bold and go for it. The worst part is that he left. He's not from here and we mainly see each other during summer. I think he's really special and don't know what to do, don't want to be ruining our friendship... :S
Reading trough all I just wrote feels like I'm being a bit dramatic, lol, well maybe I am. Aren't we all? Oh well...
What about you? have any feeling you would like to share?