I feel the need to create, to draw, to write so I take the pencil and start drawing...a line that originates another line, some dots, maybe some hair...no! This is rubbish start again...a line...aaaaaaaah! There's no remedy I feel that everything I do is just not good! Even my pictures, I rarely take pictures that I can say I enjoy nowadays. I mean I have my vintage camera still in the plastic, is this even normal?!
I think I've finally became one of those people who are just regular. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against regular, I just never thought I would be one, I don't want to be one!
One of the things I like to do to be inspired is to go online and look for illustrations I think pretty, look for styles and pictures that I think interesting. Even that has making me feel useless, I see so many great work being done for so many people I feel that I will never be that good. I'ts like from all of the things I like to do I'm not really good at any of them. So I like drawing....but I'm just not good enough, I like photography...I'm just not good enough...I like singing...and I'm just not good enough. Is it possible to be just average in anything you do?
When I read 1 Corinthians 12, I am so glad and amazed on how God uses each one of us, and our different gifts, to glorify Him and do his work on Earth as different part of his body. But then again I can't help but wonder where do I belong, what am I really good at? Where do I fit?
Have you ever got this feeling, that you're receding from where you were?